Friday, September 29, 2006

SHOCKER! Wildlife Doo-Doo Major Polluter

That's right. Smokey the Bear, Mother Goose, Bambi, Peter Rabbit and all their furry friends living in the wilderness are dropping daily loafs of steaming ecology which are subsequently flushed by rainfall into the streams and rivers. And, of course, the steaming ecology in the stream and rivers is measured by scientists and called pollution. Significant pollution. In fact, wildlife pollution exceeds human or livestock pollution in a number of rivers.

Holy moly, Batman! What do we do?

I don't have an answer but it must be a galling problem for the environmentalists who regularly advocate for the pristine purity of nature. I don't think they anticipated that the 'pristine purity' would be accompanied with animal pee-pee and doo-doo. Environmentalists are so obsessed with nature that they apparently forgot what every rational person knows. Bears do sh*t in the woods.

Nonetheless, people are scratching their heads on the problem. One suggestion was to force the wildlife to use diapers but I don't think that idea will get much support. The wildlife port-o-potty and the animal litter area ideas seem unworkable. So, what do we do? Who knows?

Frankly, the news of significant wildlife pollution is a direct result of advances in methods and sensitivity of scientific analyses. It seems measurement has become so precise that a bear can defecate in Montana and a biologist in New Orleans can test the Mississippi River water and tell you what the bear ate.

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