Christmas Gifts for Lady Liberty

All together now!

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire/a kerosene heater/microwave something hot,

Cause permission to burn we ain't got,

Holiday carols being sung for the heck of it,

And folks dressed up like native Inuit."

I know. It blows, thanks to this report from the Bay area.

Bah humbug. Revelers will have to huddle around the space heater on Christmas Day, because air quality officials — taking no holiday — have declared another Spare the Air alert.

Light winds and cool dry air are trapping smoke in the valley, so the use of fireplaces, wood stoves, fire pits or other wood-burning devices are prohibited on Friday.

Meanwhile, as Pope Benedict XVI gets bowled over and Iraq's Christians get bombed, [more improvised lyrics] ". . . and on the 2009th Christmas Eve, Obama gave to Lady Liberty a full-Nelson and one big-ass pink slip. Doo-dah!"

Merry Christmas!

Companion post at The Jawa Report.