Directions From Celebrities

Out of the UK comes this report regarding those GPS navigation gizmos being installed in the latest model automobiles. Currently, these smart features guide travelers to their destinations via maps and soft female voices giving instructions. For example, everybody has surely heard a car say, "The door is ajar. The door is ajar."

For those who desire some novelty away from the same mundane voice giving instructions, a company called Voice Skins is marketing a product which allows travelers to hear celebrity voices instead. A traveler can now be told where to go by Clint Eastwood, Patrick Stewart, an evil doctor, or Ozzie Osborne.

I haven't tested the system yet, but I have to imagine that having Clint Eastwood say, "Go ahead, make that turn" would be most entertaining. Plus, the company offers Ozzie Osborne in two versions, bleeped and unbleeped, setting the stage for your car to tell you, "In 400 metres you have reached your f***ing destination." Ah, the perfect accompaniment for the ride to your mother-in-law's house.

The possibilities are limitless. Think of Bette Davis telling you to fasten your seat belt for "a bumpy ride." For that Sunday afternoon drive without timetable or specific destination, pop in the Sylvester Stallone version. Traveling cross-country? Let Rod Serling direct you on the twilight road. And no trip through the streets of New York would be complete without Al Pacino ("Say hello to Mulberry Street") or Robert DiNiro ("You takin' a left? You takin' a left?") giving directions.

The mind wanders.