Kim Jong-il Death Predicted - Updated

(Seoul, South Korea) The state-run Korea Institute for National Unification has predicted that North Korean communist dictator Kim Jong-il will croak in 2012.

A military coup, riots, massacres and a massive exodus could follow Kim’s death, KINU said in its report.

It is rare for a state-run South Korean think tank to go into such detail in forecasting changes in North Korea in a publicly issued report since such speculation is a red rag to Pyongyang.

Kim's predicted demise is a wild card in North Korea's future. Nobody knows what will happen when the commie underbosses battle for power. Hell, the next guy might even be worse.

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Kim Jong-il with Pancreatic Cancer
[Previous 7/13/09 post]
(Seoul, South Korea) Unidentified intelligence sources in South Korea and China have stated that North Korean leader Kim Jong-il, 67, has pancreatic cancer. Reportedly, the cancer was diagnosed last summer when he collapsed due to a stroke.

There is some skepticism, though. According to one insider, intelligence leaks out of South Korea are quite susceptible to manipulation for political purposes.

Despite uncertainty regarding the latest report of Kim's health, recent pictures of the Dear Leader show a gaunt and rapidly aging person who likely won't enjoy too many more sunrises.

For those wishing to send Get Well cards to the Dear Leader, please seek professional counseling.