Reform Party Backs Nader

Founded by Ross Perot, the Reform Party, gasping for breath, endorsed Ralph Nader for president at a party leadership committee meeting yesterday.

"This endorsement shows that our independent campaign is receiving support from across the political spectrum from people upset with President Bush, and looking to shift the power back to the people so a solution revolution can take hold and solve many of the nagging problems and injustices in our society," Nader said in a statement.

A "solution revolution?" Hey, Ralph, don't you mean a "socialist revolution?"

Reform Party Chairman Shawn O'Hara said that if every nonvoting citizen votes for Nader, he'll be the next president. It's rumored he also stated that if every dead body springs to life, there would be no need for cemeteries.