Law Requires Fire Retardant Cigarettes

(Albany, NY) Effective today, smokers in New York will need the lung power of a skin diver to keep their cigarettes lit. A new law specifies that all cigarettes be made of special paper that doesn't burn very well. Consequently, smokers will see their butts self-extinguish unless they're sucked on continuously.

The law was proposed and passed to reduce the risk of fires caused by people falling asleep while smoking and setting their mattresses ablaze. However, some believe that the total number of bedroom fires will not be affected since it's one of the few places where a person can legally smoke a cigarette in the State of New York.