Statesman From Ohio


Sen. George Voinovich
I watched Voinovich's whimpering speech on the U.S. Senate floor yesterday and was painfully, viscerally disgusted. He was talking about his intense dislike for President Bush's nominee for U.S. Ambassador to the UN, John Bolton. His voice cracked, his chin quivered, and he pleaded like an infant. I felt so low. I voted for this prissy marshmallow.

That mistake will not be repeated.

And, frankly, although he was blubbering about Bolton, it made no difference what the subject of his pleading was. It was the way he talked, the way he looked, that was upsetting. Voinovich's actions were unprofessional, lacked propriety, and completely inappropriate for the putative statesman-like air of the United States Senate. I'm embarrassed that Sen. George Voinovich is from my state.

Don't for a second think that I'm not reminded of my embarrassment. I've already received a few calls from folks around the country asking if there is a shortage of real men in Ohio. And, thank you very much, when they weren't busting my chops about Georgy Girl, shots were thrown about Mike Dewine who decided to become the 'seven' in the Nitwit Seven.

What's most difficult to accept is the betrayal. I was deceived into thinking each possessed measurable testosterone. Adding to my dismay is the realization that these guys are not too bright. The people that elected them into office did so because of one thing -- they're Republicans. It wasn't because of their beauty or their charisma nor was it because they were war heroes or astronauts. No, it's because they were members of the Republican Party. So, what did these guys do when called to service? They decided to become free agents.

I'll follow their lead. When I see their names on a ballot, I'll be a free agent. In the meantime, I'd suggest that the esteemed U.S. Senators from Ohio look for opportunities to perform some extraordinarily heroic life-saving feat involving puppies and babies, make sure it's caught on camera, and use their contacts in the media to make sure I see the videotape over and over and over. Even so, there still isn't a snowball's chance in hell I'll ever vote for either again.

Pic purloined from The Country Store.