Chirac Insults Everybody

It was giggles and belly laughs as French President Jacques Chirac entertained his dinner companions, German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder and Russian President Vladimir Putin, with insults directed toward the British. Yuck-yuck! Unfortunately, their private conversation was recorded by a journalist and published.

From the UK Telegraph:

Anglo-French tensions heightened last night after Jacques Chirac delivered a series of insults to Britain as London and Paris fought to secure the 2012 Olympic Games and faced fresh disagreement at the G8 summit.

The president, chatting to the German and Russian leaders in a Russian cafe, said: "The only thing [the British] have ever given European farming is mad cow." Then, like generations of French people before him, he also poked fun at British cuisine.

They must be rolling on the floor on Downing Street. Old Jacques wasn't through, though.

"You can't trust people who cook as badly as that," he said. "After Finland, it's the country with the worst food."

What did the Finnish do to old Jacques? Would it be appropriate to suggest that he pretty much hates anything that's not French? But wait, there's more.

"But what about hamburgers?" said Vladimir Putin, the Russian president, referring to America.

"Oh no, hamburgers are nothing in comparison," Mr Chirac said.

Mr Putin and Gerhard Schroeder, the German chancellor, laughed. Mr Chirac then recalled how George Robertson, the former Nato secretary general and a former defence secretary in Tony Blair's Cabinet, had once made him try an "unappetising" Scottish dish, apparently meaning haggis.

"That's where our problems with Nato come from," he said.

Mr Schroeder and Mr Putin laughed again.

My gut hurts. Jacques, you're killing me. France opposes NATO because you were asked to try haggis. Hey, don't give this guy any Rocky Mountain Oysters. He'll start a war.

The fact that Chirac jokes about NATO by making a correlation between foreign policy and the lunch menu provides some explanation why even Chirac's own people are less and less fond of him. If I were French, I'd be embarrassed by Chirac's statements and then I'd emigrate.

Companion post at The Jawa Report.