Championship Pud Pulling

What's your hobby? Tu Jin-Sheng pulls things with his genitals.

From InsideBayArea.com:

Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, best known for his "Iron Crotch," attached himself not once but twice to a rental moving truck and pulled it several yards across a parking lot in Fremont. In lace-up leather boots and a black tank top, the 50-year-old tied a strip of blue fabric around the base of his penis and testicles and tugged to make sure it was on tight.

Now, I must interject. Having the terms "penis" and "testicles" appear in the same paragraph with the words "tied," "tugged" and "tight" is unnerving. But that's not all. After all the king's horses and all the king's men were tied, tugged and tight,

An assistant kicked him hard between the legs before he lashed himself to the vehicle.

Ouch, ouch, ouch!

 
Jin-Sheng prepares for and pulls truck with penis
(Photos - Anda Chu/Inside Bay Area)
The whole episode is apparently part of an ancient Chinese art called Qigong. Jin-Sheng is a grandmaster of Iron Crotch, a branch of Qigong also known as 99 Qigong. Tens of thousands are said to take part in the -- uh -- fun. They go around lifting heavy weights with their genitals to improve sexual performance and increase energy. Must work. I'm feeling antsy just reading about it.

The grandmaster said the most challenging object he ever has pulled was a 60-foot truck -- and that was with another man. These days, however, he is looking to up the ante. Jin-Sheng hopes to strap a dozen of his top students to a 747 for the biggest penis pull of all time. All he needs is an airplane.

Airplane or otherwise, it's not going to happen. The biggest penis pull of all time is what the mainstream media does to the public incessantly.

On a different note, it would probably be a lot more fun if Jin-Sheng forgot about the airplane and took his dozen students water skiing behind a cigarette boat. Or, maybe they could go para-sailing. Now, that would be a hoot. But remember, kids, don't try this at home.


[Update 11/26/05]

According to experts, the proficiency of the Qigong grandmasters is maintained by performance of the "Stretched Penis Restoration and Anatomical Reconstruction" procedure.

The typical Iron Crotch grandmaster recovers as illustrated by the photo at right. Notice that the process of recovery includes the use of buffalo horn, a popular element in traditional Chinese health care.

Hat tip to Jackaroo.com and a reader who ostensibly suffers from untreatable schadenfreude.