British Rectal Rocket Launched

(Sunderland, England) While it's no longer true that "the Sun never sets on the British Empire," the Brits have proven that they can launch a rocket "where the Sun don't shine." Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

From DailyMail.co.uk:

A soldier is in hospital with severe internal injuries after trying to launch a powerful firework rocket from his backside.

The incident in Sunderland was captured by a gang of youths and the fuzzy mobile phone footage shows a blinding white flash followed by hysterical laughter and one youth shouting "ha ha ha ha that's f****** nice."

It is believed the 22-year-old had recently returned from a tour of Iraq. Witness Daniel Kassim, 16, said: "There were around 40 of us after the bonfire had finished. This lad was saying, 'This is boring, what can we do?' He then put a rocket up his backside and set light to it.

"Everyone was laughing and didn't believe he'd do it. He pulled his trousers down and it exploded within seconds.

"No one thought he was hurt. But then he stood up and walked a few metres before stumbling and falling to the ground. There was quite a bit of blood."

'Rocket man' sustained massive internal injuries, including a scorched colon, from the Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket.

Now, it needs to be mentioned that the fuse on a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket is on the exhaust end of the firework. Therefore, the only way this guy could possibly stick the rocket in his ass and then light it is to have it directed inward. This means the rocket was shot into his rectum with, of course, all those individual pellets of explosives that usually light up the sky with color and sound.

Frankly, I don't see this stunt as very much different from sticking a shotgun barrel into the anus and pulling the trigger. And, just based on the description of the trick, the man's injuries would seem to be life-threatening.

Tip: Reader Rob