Heh, Whales Have "Human" Brain Cells

That is what the media reports are trumpeting. Human brain cells have been found in whales by Patrick Hof and Estel Van der Gucht, researchers at the Department of Neuroscience at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York.

In reality, though, researchers found cells called spindle neurons in whale brains and spindle neurons are also found in the brains of humans. Of course, the media interpret the find as a discovery of "human" brain cells in whales. Conveniently ignored is the fact that no researchers, nor anyone else, has a clue as to what the spindle neurons actually do. Everything is theory and one even suggests that spindle cells are not used at all. This seems nonsensical unless one considers that it would account for the thinking, or lack thereof, of Cindy Sheehan. Nonetheless, current research pretty much accepts anybody's guess as to the cell's actual function.

Therefore, I'll offer mine.

Spindle neurons are rogue mutant electrochemical reflector cells which prevent transmission of the feeling of fullness after eating.

Consequently, spindle cells are undesirable message transmitters in the brain which restrict appetite suppression impulses and contribute to widespread obesity.

Hey, come on, it makes sense. Whales are fat and humans are fat. Something has to be the cause. My guess is spindle cells. After all, it doesn't have to be that "human" cells were found in whales, it could be that remnant paleolithic "whale" spindle cells were found in humans. As I recall, whales inhabited the Earth long before the arrival of homo sapiens.

But forget all that because the leftists and their media cheerleaders will be hammering into the public's mind the notion that whales have "human" qualities and we must save them and the oceans from the evils of George Bush and capitalist greed, the true causes of wanton pollution and global warming, or we're all going to die.

Coming soon to a theater near you, "The Inconvenient Brain" by Al Gore, a whale of a guy.