Man Frees Willy

(London, England) Full of diners, the Zizzi restaurant turned chaotic when a 35-year-old Pole burst in, grabbed a knife and cut off his willy.

The 200-seater restaurant on The Strand in central London was packed with runners and spectators from Sunday's Marathon.

Sales rep Stuart McMahon, who was eating supper with his girlfriend, said: "This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about.

"Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out. Then he cut it off. I couldn't believe it.

"The staff were really upset and there was blood everywhere."

Police sped to the scene and restrained and handcuffed the man. Several diners were treated for shock by ambulance crews.

Cops grabbed the Pole's severed member and put it on ice. Both the Pole and his pole were then rushed to the hospital where doctors worked to stop his bleeding and reattach his handiwork. Prognosis is currently unknown.

Surgeons said that the operation was the first of its kind in the UK. Cops said the Pole is "clearly not a well boy."