Lesbian Convicted of Bigamy

(Shrewsbury, England) A 29-year-old mother-of-three, Suzanne Mitchell, was convicted yesterday of bigamy. Mitchell left her husband, Charles, and before their marriage was annulled, she entered into a civil union with a woman she met at the bus stop, Caroline Beddowes.

Mitchell was impressed with Beddowes because she dressed in trousers, had short hair and "looked like a boy." However, "the sex wasn't as good as it was with Charles." As a result, Mitchell returned to her husband.

Nevertheless, Mitchell pleaded guilty before Judge Robin Onions in Shrewsbury Crowne Court to violating the 2004 Civil Partnership Act with allows same-sex couples to "marry." She had falsified her application by indicating she was a single lesbian. Upon learning of the deceit, Beddowes (aka Beddows) was livid.

"It is her fault if she lied on the certificate and said she was single. When I found out she was still married to Charles about a month after our civil partnership ceremony I went ballistic. Before the ceremony Suzanne insisted I changed my name to hers so we would be a proper couple. Now I will have to change it back by deed poll."

Mitchell is free on bail as she awaits her sentencing appearance on August 6th. Judge Onions specifically instructed her not to talk to the media.

Obviously, questions remain. Was Beddowes just a lousy lesbian or can it be assumed that lesbians are no better at satisfying women than men are? Also, do UK lesbians usually hang out at bus stops to pick up women?