Fatty Burgers for 36 Years

(Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin) A 54-year-old local man, Don Gorske, 6' 2" and 185 lbs., claims to have eaten 23,000 McDonald's Big Macs over a period of 36 years.

So, somebody please tell me why this guy doesn't look like Michael Moore after a couple of heart attacks? Surely, most of the burgers he consumed were made in establishments before trans fats were banned. I'm also confident that Mr. Groske couldn't resist McDonald's french fries, arguably the most popular item on the menu.

It's inexplicable. Listening to and reading the news, we learn that scientists are convinced that there's an obesity crisis caused specifically by the stuff Mr. Groske has been consuming.

Look at his picture. Does he appear to be a man in crisis due to body mass. I contend that he looks absolutely normal, well, except for the goofy Moe Howard haircut.

So, congratulations, Mr. Gorske! May you continue to eat two Big Macs a day for another 36 years.

Tip: Charley Nestor