Thin Air, Hard Men and Leather Balls

Since the erectile dysfunction drug Viagra increases and improves blood flow and the muscle-enhancer hasn't been prohibited by sports regulators, one creative trainer for a Brazilian soccer team has decided to game-test the drug on his players.

The Brazilian Club Gremio is scheduled to play in the thin air of Bolivia at 8,200 feet during the Copa Libertadores Cup games and trainer Alarico Endres will give each player Viagra beforehand in hopes of improved performance.

"I had this illumination by reading a magazine, which wasn't a medical one: so we decided to elaborate this topic with a scientific test, and now we shall also give an indication to the technical commission," he [Endres] said.

A high-scoring game is predicted, presumably with the Viagra-enhanced players forcefully thrusting into opposing territory many times.

On the negative side, some concern has been expressed regarding how the Viagra-users will conceal the medically-intended effect of the drug during play. Perhaps a quick in-and-out training session on an improvised male sports harness is necessary.

Meanwhile, oddsmakers are unsure how to properly handicap the possible "Oh, Fernando! You look MAHVELOUS!" effect on the more progressive participants. It's believed that it will lead to more scoring but nobody is sure whether a team will get points every time a player yells "GOAL!"

Companion post at The Jawa Report.