Before Morning Coffee

This morning, prior to taking one sip from my morning coffee, Mrs. Participant hands me a sealed envelope with my name on it. I said, where's this from? She said, from me. I said, for what? She said, anniversary. I said, who's anni . . . and caught myself. The utterance, unfortunately, had entered the ether and there was no way to suck the sounds back into my throat.

Caught! I was caught being stereotypical. The thoughtless husband who doesn't remember his blessed marriage.

However, in my defense I plead that I had a chemical imbalance. It is difficult to respond to challenging situations in the morning prior to the first jolt of caffeine, especially when caught by surprise.

I'd also like to suggest that Mrs. Participant should share in the blame because she didn't give me any heads up. Now just how hard would it have been for her to mention something last week? Something like, hey, what do you have planned for our anniversary?

Of course, nothing mitigates my error. If there's a lesson to be learned, I'd say don't ask or answer questions before morning coffee. Nodding and saying nothing is recommended.

By the way, none of this morning's embarrassment would have happened if I had an assistant.