Caulking the Glutes for Bogus Booty

(Newark, New Jersey) Here's another case of a phony medical practitioner getting attention from the authorities.

A black-market butt-enhancement "practitioner" is injecting New Jersey backsides with household caulk and other hazardous materials, according to New Jersey health officials who have alerted New York authorities to the rear and present danger.

Six Newark-area women in the last two months have been hospitalized with infections caused by injections of "a variety of unknown materials," said New Jersey Health Department epidemiologist Dr. Tina Tan.

Officials said they believe the injected mixture includes silicone, petroleum jelly and hardware-grade caulk.

The procedure produced cratered and lumpy butts along with deep tissue infections and abscesses. Criminal charges of practicing without a license are being considered.

My advice for all those people worried about the size of their butts? Find a different hobby.

Tip: slwlion