"We Really Suck" School Spirit

(New York City) The record to date of Columbia University's 2011 football team is a dismal 0-9. Consequently, school spirit has circled the drain and seemingly disappeared, replacing the expected Go team go! with a general "we really suck, don't even try" acquiescence.

It's reported that the university band was "briefly barred" from tomorrow's game with Brown University after changing the lyrics to the school's fight song to:

We always lose lose lose;
by a lot and sometimes by a little;
we all were winners at the start;
but four years has taught us all the value of just giving up,
cause we really suck;
why are we even trying?;
we always lose lose lose;
but we take solace in our booze.

In a statement issued yesterday, the band manager apologized to fellow classmates and coaches "who were offended" and the athletic department lifted its ban.

I'm reminded of an unrelated incident years ago when enraged fans attacked the bus carrying the opposing team's band members and, immediately, the entire football team intervened to protect the band. One has to wonder if Columbia's football team would act as quickly in a similar circumstance.

Arguably, the notion of being true to your school is not enrolled at Columbia University.