North Korea: Government-Approved Hairstyles



North Korean State-Approved Hairstyles
(Pyongyang, North Korea) The government in North Korea has approved a range of acceptable hairstyles for its citizens, claiming they are "most comfortable" and "capable of warding off the corrupting effects of capitalism."

Pictures can be seen on the walls of hair salons around the country showing the approved styles for men and women. Spiky hair is forbidden, as are quiffs — the nation has learned the baleful lesson from the decadent South that outrageous hairstyles may lead to the formation of effete boy bands or to pervasive mental health problems whereby people hallucinate riding invisible horses. Under no circumstances should you enter a North Korean barber shop and ask for your hair to be cut "Gangnam Style."

The list of 18 acceptable female hairstyles show North Korean women are given more choice in their coiffeur after they wed. Approved styles for single women are simple but married women are permitted to indulge in a few extra stylistic flourishes. This also has the useful effect of establishing whether a woman is married or not at a glance. If you like it, then you should have put some curlers in it, to paraphrase Beyonce.

Men are somewhat more restricted, with only ten styles to choose from and a longer list of rules to follow. The hair of the country's young men should be less than 5 cm long and they should have a haircut once every 15 days as longer hair apparently takes away nutrition from their brains. Older men, whose brains are presumably in decline anyway, are allowed to rock out with hair as long as 7 cm.

Interestingly, Dear Leader Kim Jong-Un sports an unapproved hairstyle but nobody has the hair to call him on the violation.

Tip: Marmot's Hole