Grandma Barbie with Barbie popcorn and Barbie remote

I'd guess GI Joe would now be bald with prostate problems and engrossed in pissing contests with his children. Heh.

George Jetson would likely abandon his space-age home since taxes skyrocketed.

Timmy is old and sad in a nursing home since Lassie (Nos. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, etc.) died.

Superman is interviewed and says, "I had a son! How can I? I don't have any junk."

A road-grader accidentally digs up the remains of Barnie Rubble.

Peppermint Patty reveals that she is addicted to chocolate. "Forget the peppermint," she says.

Dick Tracy screams, "Screw this radio watch, it's a piece of crap. I want an iPhone!"

And so on and so on.