Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

The Carnival of the Vanities #77 is posted and hosted at Aaron's Rantblog. Go visit. Next week's host will be Patterico's Pontifications.

Liberal Radio Network Launches March 31st

According to their website,

"Air America Radio is launching in the top U.S. markets with leading talent that will provide compelling and entertaining programming on the radio, on satellite feeds, and on the web," said Mark Walsh, Chief Executive Officer of Air America Radio.

The leading talent includes Al Franken who will host "The O'Franken Factor" from noon to 3pm weekdays and Janeane Garofalo who will host "The Majority Report" from 8 to 11pm weeknights. Franken will be "fighting back against rightwing propaganda with hard evidence and facts." Garofalo "will introduce new, younger voices and opinions" to the airwaves. And, as Evan Cohen, Chairman of the board of Air America Radio, states:

"Our success to date proves what we have known all along: a progressive radio network can be entertaining and engaging while also being a successful business venture. . . ."

Obviously, I am out of the information loop on this subject since I'm totally unaware of any "success to date." Nevertheless, I'll be scanning my radio dial to be entertained. Actually, if the buildup is true and Al Franken confronts his nemesis, hard evidence and facts, while on the air, I'll be more than entertained. I'll be mezmerized.

Susan Powter - Nightclub Diva

(Cleveland, Ohio) Northeast Ohioans should clear their schedules and go see Susan "Stop the Insanity" Powter's nightclub act tomorrow at the Beachland Ballroom and Tavern. Although she has second billing behind the sexually energized, hyper-animated duo called Bitch & Animal, it's apparent that Powter has successfully parlayed her 1990s national television celebrity down to a gig at a smoky, late-night honky-tonk. In her next career move, it's rumored she'll be bussing tables.

Tickets are $15 at the door for the 10:30pm show.

Sexual Orientation-Based Scholarship

(Rockland County, New York) According to Michelle Sims, of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, 15 colleges nationwide offer scholarships based on sexual orientation. Adding to the list is Rockland Community College which will offer a new scholarship for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered students. The Sheldon Oppenheim Memorial Scholarship will award up to $500 to each student. Applicants must write "essays describing the obstacles they have had to overcome and explain their educational goals."

Linda Oppenheim, created the scholarship in memory of her homosexual brother-in-law, Sheldon. Interestingly, Linda is married to Marvin Oppenheim who is Director of Financial Aid at Rockland Community College. It's assumed that all required paperwork was processed swimmingly.

In related news, it's expected that the dearth of scholarship programs for pedophiles and convicted sexual predators will end as the North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) continues to piggyback their political agenda on the successes of the homosexual advocacy. Of note is that a Women's Auxiliary of NAMBLA has been formed to piggyback on the success of NAMBLA in promoting the rape of children.

Do Your Banking at Wal-Mart

(Cleveland, OH) New displays at Wal-Mart stores in cities like Columbus and Minneapolis will be branches of Charter One Banks. A total of 67 branches are currently planned.

It's obvious that Wal-Mart is going to take over the world. Ha-ha-ha!

Homeless Going to the Movies

(Akron, Ohio) A possible 250 homeless people will be given a free ride and a movie ticket this weekend to see "The Passion of the Christ."

My take is that this is a fine gesture of charity, however, it sure seems that the general policy of municipalities around the country is to make homelessness more and more attractive. San Francisco pays them, Chicago builds houses for them, an Ohio town (Painesville) permits them to hold elected office, and, now, Akron takes them to the movies. It's hard to dispute the contention that making homelessness more attractive (or less unattractive) naturally draws more people towards the lifestyle.

If the goal is to reduce the homeless population, actions taken by cities and town shouldn't make the lifestyle more attractive.

Congratulations to Dim Sum Diaries

It's been a great contest and a great run for MEDIA BIAS and Interested-Participant, however, Remember When... and Dim Sum Diaries came out on top of a 46 to 43 score and will move on to the championship match. I applaud the victor and send best wishes.

I also applaud Pete and Manny for making the first Blog Madness tournament a success. It's been a long run and there have been growing pains, but the positives far outweigh the negatives. I'm sure there will be great interest in next year's contest.

School Science Standards Will Include Creation

Yesterday, the Ohio State Board of Education voted 13 to 5 to approve a standard for 10th grade science classes on how to teach evolution.

The science-model curriculum, an optional set of classroom lectures and activities for science teachers, includes a chapter titled "Critical analysis of evolution" that recommends 10th-graders debate several common critiques of the theory.

Before the vote, there were hours of heated debate and legal threats from the academic and scientific communities. The opponents believe that the lesson plans introduce students to intelligent design, which states that a higher power played a role in the creation of all life.

Some are predicting that the state will be sued for introducing religion into public school classrooms.

School to Drop Geography Class

(Hopewell Township, PA) The teacher's union has filed a grievance because the school system is eliminating the United States geography class to cut costs.

It's hard to see any benefit from eliminating geography. Of course, once the offspring graduates and leaves home, they'll have an excuse for not going back to visit the parents. Couldn't find the place, Mom.

Steal Gas, Lose License

(Columbus, Ohio) House Bill 179 became law yesterday. Ohio courts can now direct the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles to suspend a person's driving privileges for gas theft. A six-month suspension may be imposed.

Bully! Of course, someone who is already a convicted thief probably isn't too worried about getting a ticket.

California Legislator Wants 14-Year-Olds to Vote

(Sacramento, California) State Senator John Vasconcellos, D-Santa Clara, has proposed an amendment to the state constitution which would allow 14 to 17-year-olds to vote in state and local elections. The kids 14 and 15 would count as one-fourth of an adult vote, 16 and 17-year-olds would be one-half.

This begs a question. Why stop there? Couldn't we lower the age even more? Let's start at five. Among the 5 and 9-year-olds, the votes would count as one-tenth of an adult and, from 10 to 13, the votes would count for one-fifth. If the plan is to remove maturity and intellect as criteria for determining voting age, than there's no reason to exclude the youngest citizens.

The proposed amendment would probably also produce a Pandora's box of unintended consequences. An argument could be made that if someone is old enough to have a say in determining the government, then that person should be old enough to sign a legal contract, get married, and have consensual intimate relations with a member of the same or opposite sex. It also seems possible that in some jurisdictions, with the right demographics, the kids could be the majority. In that case, I foresee homework being outlawed.

Hat tip: Absinthe & Cookies

PCRM Should Be Ignored

In furthering its animal liberation and radical vegetarian agenda, the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM) has written a letter stating that low carbohydrate diets are making people sick with symptoms similar to the side effects of chemotherapy. The letter, written by John McDougall, is published in the current issue of the Mayo Clinic Proceedings and at EurekaAlert.org on the Internet. Citing nonspecific "numerous studies," the PCRM imagines significant health risks result from low-carb diets which emphasize meat, fish, and eggs.

My take is simple. Don't trust anything from the PCRM.

There is nothing produced by the PCRM that is not directly related to the liberation of animals. PCRM is extreme by any rational standard and its findings are predetermined to support its goals of freeing all animals and mandating strict vegetarian diets for all people.

Also, the Mayo Clinic Proceedings staff should be more careful and not further the political propaganda of extremist organizations claiming to add to the body of medical knowledge.

Tattoos, Piercings Law in Kentucky

Effective April 1st, Kentucky will begin regulating the piercing of ears, tongues, noses, bellies and other body parts. I'm usually against increased government regulation, but somehow society has to protect immature young people from mutilating their bodies for the sake of fashion. Every state should have similar laws.

Tonya Harding Back Skating

About a decade ago, Tonya Harding's opponent in Olympic skating, Nancy Kerrigan, was beaten on the leg with a stick to try an keep her from competing. It created a major scandal and has negatively impacted Harding's aspirations ever since. Well, what goes around, comes around and Tonya Harding may now herself be beaten on the leg with a stick. She has just joined the Indianapolis Ice Minor League hockey team.

You've got to wonder if someone might subconsciously give her a disabling whack, just for the heck of it.

Flaming Ejecta

Take a trip over to Dan K. O'Leary's blog, Pragmatic Conservatism, and view the malodorous effluent searing in this week's Bonfire of the Vanities.

Blog Madness - FINAL FOUR

Thank you! Interested-Participant is one of four blogs still in contention for the Blog Madness Tournament Championship. I do not feel that I can adequately express my gratitude to all the people who voted for me. Even at its most personal, the Internet is an impersonal way of expressing heartfelt appreciation. Nonetheless, it's there and you can be assured that I have telepathically festooned each individual electron of this message with good mojo to you all.

In the last round, I was able to eke out a narrow victory over I'll take "Torment My Wife" for 1,000, Alex at KevinDonahue.com. This surprised me since I thought Kevin's entry to be one of the finest in the contest, well-written, witty, and the recipient of my vote more than once.

My FINAL FOUR matchup is against Remember When... at Dim Sum Diaries, another contest entry I've voted for more than once.

The polls have already opened for voting on the FINAL FOUR and will close at midnight Wednesday. Voters are asked to maintain their interest for these last two rounds. Please vote for your preference HERE.

Observations & Questions

Here's a sampling of various observations and questions Noel has put together over at the Sharp Knife. They are most worthy of maximum exposure in the blogosphere and, frankly, I wish I had thought of them.

...that Ozzie & Harriet were shallow frauds, living a lie in quiet suburban desperation...but if Eddie Haskell proposes to Lumpy Rutherford, it's all about love, dignity and affirmation?

...the same politicians who support mass-transit, teacher's unions and gun control...have armed bodyguards drive their own kids to private schools in limos?

...the homeless magically re-appear in the media when a Republican takes office...were they all staying at Alec Baldwin's house in France?

...CNN calls 5.6% unemployment "low" when Clinton is running for re-election...but "high" when Bush runs for re-election?

Thought provoking and they surely won't be seen on Katie Couric's, Dan Rather's, Tom Brokaw's, Wolf Blitzer's, Chris Matthews' nor Peter Jennings' teleprompters. Noel has more here. Go visit.

British Customs Arrest Woman for Contraband

(London) After arrival on a flight from West Africa, Nenneh Nyana Jaiteh, 48, was arrested by Customs and Excise Department authorities for carrying some snails, 172.7 pounds of fish and about 13.2 pounds of goat meat in her luggage.

I bet the customs officials didn't need a dog to sniff out this case. On a serious note, though, one has to wonder what type of controls exist at the origin of the flight. Jeez, if someone could board a plane with almost two hundred pounds of stinking contraband fish and meat, how easy would it be to smuggle a firearm or explosive on board?

A Few Beers, A Nail Gun, . . . .

(Sydney, Australia) Consider how this story plays out.

He was skylarking with mates over a few beers and took what he thought was an empty nail gun and pointed it at his head.

If you asked Brad Shorten, 33, to read that statement 1000 times, he'd probably comment unequivocally that he could never be that stupid. Well, he was and he lived and, in true manly Aussie style,

"At the hospital the pain got worse, and I was getting frustrated so I asked for a pair of pliers to pull it out myself," he said.

Tough guy. However, he was convinced otherwise by a team of specialists who then took four hours removing a part of his skull to retrieve the counter-sunk 1.25-inch nail. A full recovery is expected.

Hat tip: Wizbang

Truants Can Lose Driving Privileges

Governor Bill Richardson of New Mexico signed into law HB106 which specifies that students who are habitually truant can have their driving privileges suspended. Students are considered habitual truants if they have 10 or more unexcused absences in a school year. A 90-day suspension of privileges is specified for the first infraction and potentially a year for subsequent infractions. The law has an effective date of May 19.

My take on this is simple. It sounds great, but it probably will never be effectively implemented. As I see it, four different government bureaucracies will have to concur before any student loses his driving privileges. The public school system will identify and report the truant to the juvenile probation authorities who must present the case to the children's court system for docketing and imposition of sanctions which must be relayed to the motor vehicle department for action. Since each of these bureaucracies can be expected to exhibit typical sloth-like government efficiency and, since each is prone to political hypersensitivity, it would not be unreasonable to imagine someone losing driving privileges long after graduating from school. Think about it. When was the last time anyone got two, much less four, government bureaucracies to work together to accomplish anything in a timely manner?

Simply, it's a great idea, but it won't work.