ESCAPEE STILL AT LARGE

(Springfield, OH) Almost two months ago, over Labor Day weekend, two pigs escaped from the Fair at New Boston in George Rogers Clark Park. One fugitive pig was caught, but the other remains at large, having outsmarted the Ohio Highway Patrol, the Ohio Department of Transportation and the humane society. The searchers are evaluating various plans for capturing the other pig. It's been rumored that state administrators in Columbus are putting an ad in the Yellow Pages under "Escort Services," believing it to be the best way to get a pig.

(Update 10/24/03) There might be something unique in the genetic makeup of farm animals in Southwestern Ohio that is worthy of scientific study. Not only do pigs have the escape-at-all-cost gene but this story from Cincinnati (dated Feb. 2002) indicates that cows may also possess it.

Since escaping from a local slaughterhouse by jumping a 6-foot fence at Ken Meyer Meats in Camp Washington Feb. 15, the 1,200-pound cow has become daily fodder for radio talk shows, TV newscasts and office chatter.

Dubbed Moosama Bin Laden by one DJ, the cow has evaded police and officials from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals while crossing Central Parkway and entering Mount Storm Park in Clifton, where it was last spotted by one TV station's helicopter "Cow Cam."

"The problem is, this is a free-range cow that isn't going to come to any human," said SPCA general manager Harold Dates. "And when you weigh 1,200 pounds, you can pretty much go anywhere you want to go."

Ultimately, the cow was caught and, due to the publicity, famed artist Peter Max donated artwork valued at $180,000 so the cow "could live out her life in the cow world's equivalent of Palm Beach."

Hat tip to Overtaken by Events.