The Laws of Food Giveaways

(Cook County, Illinois) Destined for the IF-YOU-BUILD-IT-THEY-WILL-COME file is this story of the problems that the Greater Chicago Food Depository has in getting enough food to meet ever increasing demand.

"I have never seen that dramatic of an increase in all 14 years that I've been here," said Kathy Howe, Irving Park Community Food Pantry director. "In one week in November we had to close our doors because we ran out of some of the staple foods that we give out."

This real-life example is an opportunity to cite the previously unpublished

Laws Of Food Giveaways

1) All people desire to get food without spending money.

2) The number of people participating in food giveaway programs is proportional to the ease of acquiring free food.

A) Everyone participates if the food is delivered to homes.

B) Fewer people participate if they have to travel to get the food.

C) Even fewer people participate if they have to fill out a form to get the food.

3) There always are people who will get free food for future barter or sale.

4) There is an endless supply of people who want to be paid with taxpayer dollars to give away food.

5) The business of giving away food is malignant, being virtually impossible to stop its growth.

These laws were compiled by extensive analysis of empirically derived data by the Interested-Participant Research Lab.

It should be noted that there are more than 600 food giveaway pantries in Cook County, Illinois.