The Civilization Bowl

(Damascus, Syria) After days of sit-ins outside the Danish Embassy in downtown Damascus, followers of the religion of peace stormed the building and set it afire. Unfortunately, housed in the same building, the embassies of Chile and Sweden were also torched. Later, it was reported that the Norwegian Embassy was also set ablaze. There were also 'peaceful' overtures in Jakarta, Indonesia, where Muslims stormed the Danish Embassy, throwing eggs, smashing furniture and burning the Danish flag.

Hamas leader Mahmoud Zahar had earlier commented, "We should have killed all those who offend the Prophet and instead here we are, protesting peacefully." I guess arson and murder are peaceful acts in the Islamic lexicon.

[Update 02/05/06, 0930 EST] Danish Embassy in Beirut torched.

The overwhelming swath of Islamic peacefulness and tolerance has triggered a wave of European genuflection and appeasement. A scorekeeper is working full-time tallying the we're-sorrys. The Islamic appeasers team, led by the U.S. State Department and the World Socialists, has issued statements supporting suppression of free speech.

Although this is Super Bowl weekend, some commentary is focusing on the Civilization Bowl.

"Well, Howard. With the latest offensive plays by 14th Century Islam, how do you see the contest going?"

"Frank, you've got to give the strong men up front a lot of credit. The 14th Century team is absolutely manhandling the 21st Century Westerners. Look what they have done. They have the United States government backing Islam's editorial control of free speech. This is tantamount to taking out the Westerners' star running back. Of course, the Westerners' quarterback hasn't spoken yet, but that surely is seen as agreement with the statement from the State Department."

"Howard, I think you're making too much out of the 14th Century's latest moves."

"In all candor, Frank, I don't think so. Consider this. Do you really believe the U.S.S.R. would have lost in the semi-finals if Ronald Reagan had been prevented from talking? After all, he called the U.S.S.R. the "evil empire." Now, try that with the prophet Mohammad and you won't get away with it. Nah, this quarter in the Civilization Bowl is clearly a winner for 14th Century Islam. I'd give them a lead in the contest."

"You're painting a gloomy picture for 21st Century's chances, Howard."

"Yeah, Frank, I know. But, think about it, the 14th Century team has legitimized a 14th Century tactic long abandoned by the Westerners. When offended by someone, burn down his house. Agreed, it's usually considered dirty play but, since the Islamic team is allowed to make the rules, a clear advantage exists. Imagine playing poker where you can make up the rules in your favor. Works, doesn't it?"

"So, Howard, the contest is far from over. What strategy would you recommend for the 21st Century Westerners to get back in the game?"

"In reality, Frank, the Westerners are not holding the line of scrimmage. It took hundreds of years to get where they are. They shouldn't allow the Islamic team to push them back an inch. The 14th Century team will use its big yardage gain against free speech to launch a push for dictated speech. After all, once you control what people say, the next step is to mandate what people are required to say. Hold the line of scrimmage. That's the first thing the Westerners have to do.

"Secondly, the 21st Century team really needs to educate the cheerleaders for the Islamic team. This means the media. In particular, the leftist media in the United States and Europe need to realize that if the 14th Century team wins the Civilization Bowl, they will be out of work. The media support the team that will abolish their independence. Sure, television and newspapers will still be around, but everything said and everything written will be dictated.

"Thirdly, the Westerners need to mobilize the women. They are half the population of the planet and many of them should be speaking up with ferocity. Either that or forget about being educated and having equal rights. Forget about one man, one wife. Forget about style, fashion and beauty. The women can be a powerful part of the 21st Century team. Right now, they're not.

"Those are some ideas, Frank. Unfortunately, all strategy and tactics are meaningless unless the 21st Century Westerners realize one thing."

"What's that, Howard?"

"In a nutshell, the Westerners need to realize that they can lose. Right now, they don't see it as a possibility."