How Do I Love Thee?

Ooh-baby, ooh-baby, let me show you my love. Ooh-baby, it hurts so bad.

From SFGate.com:

A man who apparently severed his penis in an attempt to convince his wife that he was faithful to her was recovering after surgery to reattach the organ at a northern Malaysian hospital, a news report said Tuesday.

The 41-year-old man, who was not identified, got into an argument last Friday with his wife, who found a text message on his mobile phone from another woman. The man was heard by his son shouting that he wanted to prove he was not having an affair, the New Straits Times reported.

Loud screams and lots of blood are reported to have resulted.

Frankly, he would have been smarter to buy her some jewelry. Sure, cutting off his pleasure wand will assure that he doesn't stray to the arms of another woman, but it also means his lady at home likely won't experience any magic moments. Idiot.