Elephant Vasectomy

(Lake Buena Vista, Florida) Dr. Mark Stetter, a veterinarian at Walt Disney World, is going to Africa to perform vasectomies on elephants. Stetter explains the process in not too technical terms.

From WFTV.com:

The two biggest challenges: elephants are the size of semi-trucks, and their testicles -- the size of a "respectable cantaloupe," Stetter said -- are behind 2 inches of skin, a foot of muscle and 4 inches of fat.

"What we want to do is get to the middle of something that's in that semi-truck, and we want to do it without emptying out everything that's in the truck," Stetter explains.

Using the tools doctors use for arthroscopic knee surgeries on humans -- a laparoscope and a video monitor -- Stetter can perform what he says is a two-hour procedure to sterilize male elephants without disrupting their important testosterone production.

The elephant must first be shot from a helicopter with an anesthesia dart, guided to an open area, and propped up by a crane truck so that he can stand while sleeping.

Stetter said field tests, as recently as July in South Africa, have revealed no postoperative complications for the elephants.

Now, it seems to me there could be some real breakthroughs in science if Dr. Stetter started to perform a vasectomy on Mr. Nose, the talking elephant, and showed the beast the 5-foot contraception tool. Imagine cute Mr. Nose saying, "No! No! No! No!"