McCain and DeWine, Like Peas and Carrots

Is it only my nightmare that former Sen. Mike DeWine appears to be the separated-at-birth-but-joined-in-loyal-union slow twin of John McCain? All too often I see DeWine tagging along on McCain's coattails as if mimicking the cartoon where a bouncy little dog yelps, "You gonna beat 'em up, Spike? Are ya', Spike? Are ya'? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

Just freakin' great! I believe DeWine got booted from office largely because he was a McCain sycophant. I'll never be able to erase the unpleasant image of DeWine standing like the school nerd at "Spike" McCain's elbow during press announcements for the Gang of 14. Ohio's Republicans displayed their disapproval at the ballot box by not showing up. As a result, Ohioans got the leftist piece of work, Democrat Sherrod Brown.

And now, to avoid having a Democrat (I'd argue a Socialist) in the White House, conservatives are forced to support McCain. Given that DeWine and McCain are often seen together, obviously conjoined in spirit if not the flesh, support for McCain translates into a perverse, back-door, approval-by-association for DeWine.

More troubling, however, is the very real possibility that a McCain administration will include DeWine -- somewhere. Maybe a cabinet member? Not a pleasant thought. Although DeWine is swimmingly loyal to John McCain, he treats conservatism as a mostly-forgotten cousin.

Frankly, I didn't need more reasons to view McCain as unacceptable. My chalkboard is already full. But I must admit that the DeWine element is particularly grating since I don't think he should be in any leadership position in government - at least not as a Republican.

In my gut, I sense that DeWine became a Republican by chance more than by conviction. Sure, it's speculation, but based on his performance as a lawmaker and political leader, DeWine could have just as easily fit in as a Democrat. I'll go a step further and fantasize that a young Mike DeWine, while pondering his career opportunities, took a coin out of his pocket, flipped it into the air and called out, "Heads, Republican. Tails, Democrat."

Damn coin.

Nevertheless, McCain's high unacceptability rating of one full chalkboard pales in comparison to any Democrat's unacceptability rating of two full chalkboards. Therefore, a prudent voter will find the least unacceptable to be the most chad-worthy. A bumper sticker is needed -- Be Prudent, Vote Least Unacceptable.

Right now, the future is anyone's guess but when it's all over and there's a new resident in the White House, it will be hard to dispute the contention that the 2008 Presidential Election was the real-life equivalent of the South Park television episode of an election between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.