Hot Cars Boost Testosterone

(Montreal, Canada) According to a study of endocrine responses to external stimuli, researchers found that a man's libido automatically becomes turbocharged with elevated testosterone when he climbs into a hot car.

"The infusion of this incredibly potent social status signal was so great . . . that the endocrinological response was substantial irrespective of whether they had an audience or not," says study co-author Gad Saad, associate professor of marketing at Concordia University in Montreal.

Male college students, whose median age was 24.7, spent an hour driving a $150,000 Porsche — 30 minutes downtown, surrounded by countless spectators, and 30 minutes on a highway with few observers. They experienced the same conditions driving a "dilapidated" Toyota Camry with 300,000 kilometres on it.

According to researchers, endowing the men with a vehicle few people could afford tripped an endocrinological response — measured using saliva samples — mimicking the one elicited during competition for female mates. The older car had an inverse effect, though not significantly.

"There's no culture that has ever been uncovered, or will ever be uncovered — unless evolutionary forces change our human nature — where women are more likely to drive Ferraris than men," says Saad, Concordia's research chair in Evolutionary Behavioural Sciences and Darwinian Consumption.

Since the researchers conducted the macho spit test to find a direct correlation between physical well-being of a man and the vehicle he drives, it appears that there now is a scientific basis for deducting a brand new sports car as a medical/health/erectile dysfunction treatment. IRS take note.

Furthermore, those men who limp around in old beaters now have an explanation for their droopy demeanor. "Sorry, Honey. I just don't feel the urge. Scientists say it's because of my car."

Ending with an aside, what in the world is Darwinian Consumption? Survival of the fittest shoppers? Uh -- never mind.