Woman Pinched for Porn

(Grand Forks, North Dakota) A 37-year-old local woman, Nicole Ann Altendorf, has been accused of broadcasting pornography such that images and noises could be seen and heard from a local elementary school.

Responding to complaints, police Cpl. Dylan Schauer arrived to find an irate Altendorf.

“We made contact with the suspect, who was not compliant in any way,” a police report states. “She refused to come out and physically resisted. She was finally extracted by force from her entryway.”

The report says Altendorf bit Schauer’s arm and kicked him several times in the groin as he tried to put her in a squad car. Once in the car, she spit in Schauer’s face, the report states.

Employees at Lake Agassiz School, 605 Stanford Road, originally reported the loud, conspicuous pornography out of concern for students who were arriving in the morning. Employees told police “the windows were wide open on the residence, the door was open, and there was pornography playing on the TV which was in front of the window with the volume turned all the way up. The pornography was visible from the school, as well as the street,” according to the report.

Altendorf, 37, appeared in state District Court via interactive television Friday afternoon. She told Magistrate David Vigeland she’d been living with her boyfriend in the house since June. She said she previously lived in Hillsboro, N.D., for six years.

Her attorney, Ted Sandberg, told Vigeland his client does not have a significant criminal past.

“I think this is an isolated incident,” Sandberg said. “She’s certainly not a continuing danger to the community.”

Prosecutor Thomas Falck asked if Altendorf would submit to a blood test to see if the officer faces a health risk after allegedly being spit on. Sandberg said his client did not want to do that.

“I have a cold and don’t believe I touched anybody’s skin when I spit on the cop that I did,” Altendorf said in court.

Helluva quote, eh? Altendorf was booked into custody and released on $4,000 bail.