Wired Man Arrested

(El Dorado County, California) Earlier this month, a 60-year-old man, Steven Ferrini, was arrested by California Highway Patrol officers (CHP) on a drug charge and transported to the South Lake Tahoe CHP Office.

During a search, officers found that Ferrini had "a suspicious wire, with an on/off switch" in his pants pocket with the wire extending out of his pocket to his anus.

Mr. Ferrini explained that the wire was connected to an anal vibrator although just exactly what condition an anal vibrator addresses wasn't explained.

As an aside, I'd guess it's sort of like a pacemaker for the heart. If for some reason, a person feels his/her rectum isn't agitated enough, the switch is thrown and instant crankiness results. It's likely advantageous for those people who benefit from being perfectly agitated buttholes. IRS agents, insurance claims adjusters, and lawyers come to mind.

Nevertheless, while Mr. Ferrini explained about the wire, he also shared his knowledge of explosives and bombs. This caused the officers to freak out and order an evacuation of the South Lake Tahoe CHP Office along with an urgent call to the bomb squad.

For three hours, the bomb squad worked on the anal device before declaring that it was rendered safe. A CHP employee was charged with the responsibility of removing the anal device.

Tip: Charley Nestor