Grave Injury

(Hamilton, New Jersey) A 39-year-old woman and a male friend reportedly entered a township cemetery Tuesday for the alleged purpose of engaging in mutual rubby-rubby on a relative's grave.

Details are sketchy, however, it's believed that the woman, while passionately coupling with her paramour, huffed breathily, "Ooh baby baby baby, rock my world! Make the Earth move!"

Appearing to follow instructions, the relative's tombstone (suspected to be the ex-husband's) fell over and crushed the woman's leg.

By ambulance, the woman was taken to Capital Health Regional Medical Center.

Tip: Charley Nestor & slwlion