Suicide, Forgiveness and Virgins

(Jakarta, Indonesia) On trial for conspiring to blow himself up in the second set of suicide bombings in Bali last October, 24-year-old Anif Solchanudin said he was ready to follow the examples of previous Bali bombers. Fortunately, he was unsuccessful.

From ABC News Online:

Today in the Denpasar's District Court, the would-be bomber said although he was ready to be a suicide bomber, he did not know Bali was to be the target of an attack.

When a judge questioned his motivation to be a suicide bomber, Solchanudin said that his Islamic teacher, Subur, had explained that his sins would be forgiven if his blood was spilt.

He said he was told it would help 70 members of his family get to heaven, where he would be greeted by 72 virgins.

So, here's the plan, Anif. Strap on this bomb belt and blow yourself to pieces so a bunch of other folks go to heaven. And, by the way, you'll be greeted by 72 virgins. What a deal, eh?

Alternatively, I'd sweeten the deal with 200 virgins and forgive Anif if he spilled his blood -- privately -- by his lonesome and without injuring or bothering any other life on the planet. Of course, there would be the exception of group suicide forgiveness sessions. I would be happy to throw in an extra hundred virgins if a Muslim homicidal fanatic blew his bomb among a meeting of fellow fanatics. Forgiveness would abound.

In fact, I would strongly encourage all the Islamic fundamentalists to just do themselves in so that I could forgive their sins. Special forgiveness and fifty extra virgins will be given to those Muslim loonies who are able to make their bodies disappear concurrent with their suicides. Might I suggest the shark-infested waters of the South China Sea or maybe the lava-filled crater of an active volcano?