Government Bailout Stock Index

If someone throws money into a smelly hole with intentions of improving the odor, every now and then it would be nice to know if the stink is lessened. That's essentially what the Nasdaq OMX Group plans.

The trans-Atlantic exchange operator's first launch is the Government Relief Index, or GRI, which will track the stocks of 24 companies that have received more than $1 billion apiece in backing from the U.S. Troubled Asset Relief Program or other support mechanisms.

John Jacobs, an executive vice president at Nasdaq OMX, said the exchange plans to launch indexes tracking smaller recipients of U.S. state aid, as well as versions reflecting support to European companies. It is looking at licensing options and exchange-traded funds based on the initial GRI index to third parties.

Mr. Jacobs said the first index will act as a long-term benchmark to measure the effectiveness of the TARP and other programs. "If these companies outperform the overall market over next five years, we can say that this was the right thing to do," he said.

So, through the Government Relief Index, taxpayers can periodically get a whiff of the smelly hole without having to stick their noses in it.

Meanwhile, I would speculate that Congress will launch an American taxpayer smell desensitization initiative to re-calibrate judgmental odor receptors in the noses of the public.

After all, when being led down the road toward utopia, it's important that noses are re-educated to be tolerant. This is necessary because it's possible to throw enough money into a hole such that the hole disappears completely, leaving only the smell.

Arguably, the stench will never disperse and, in a way, it's a blessing. When all the wealth has evaporated, it's strangely comforting to have a reminder, even if it stinks.

Therefore, I recommend that the Government Relief Index be nicknamed the Stink Fund Index.