Sunday, August 17, 2003

WHALE FLATULENCE

The eco-alarmists' concerns of global warming resulted in the Kyoto Treaty which prompted the country of New Zealand to institute a tax on farm mammal flatulence. But now it appears that they may have a bigger mammal in their coastal waters contributing to global warming. The whale.

From The Herald Sun comes:
. . . the first photograph of a minke whale letting one go in the icy waters of Antarctica. It was taken from the bow of a research vessel.

"We got away from the bow of the ship very quickly ... it does stink," said Nick Gales, a research scientist from the Australian Antarctic Division.

[Update 9:16pm per question from my recuperating son, "It shouldn't take a research scientist to know that farts stink." I agreed and mentioned that the purpose of their research was more involved. All the while, I remembered my pain after abdominal surgery and the fact that he was at cruising altitude from the morphine derivative racing through his bloodstream. Then he asked,
"How do they do that?"

"What?" I replied.

"Get the turds? You know, how'd they get the whale turds?"

"Well, uh, well, uh," I stammered.

"And why'd they put satellite tracking devices on whale turds? I mean, how'd they get the turds and why'd they put satellite tracking devices on them?" Matthew was interested in the article. While he took his breath, I realized that he was responding to the words of the article as written. And it was poorly written, so much so that an adolescent could be led to believe that researchers 'discover' that flatulence has an unpleasant odor and that whale feces is tracked by satellite. He also mentioned:
[reading from the article] "'Every piece of this research is surprising . . ." is the only thing I understand. It doesn't make sense, but I understand it.

Sheesh!]

Regarding the statement that whale flatulence "does stink," I don't understand. Most of the environmental scientists who are saving whales and alarming everyone to global warming typically have their heads located where that kind of smell is fairly common. They should be used to it.

And who will pay the flatulence tax? One whale is probably equivalent to a whole flock of sheep and there are thousands of whales.

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