AMERICAN HOME SECURITY

The Acidman has established a home security system that provides the best method of personal protection and crime deterrence available. Here's an excerpt:

Some outfit called ADT or some such made a house call on me this week. They were willing to put over $800 dollars worth of electronic security in my home for FREE, if I let them put a sign in the yard and I then paid a $30 per month service contract. I listened to their spiel.

Then, I reached under the couch and pulled out a pistol. They shrank like spiders on a hot stove. "Do you know what this is?" I asked. Of course they didn't know. "It's security," I said. "It's a Colt five-shot .38 revolver loaded with hollowpoints. I keep it here all the time." I put it back under the couch.

"See that coat-rack over there in the corner?" I asked. They nodded. I stood up and walked over to it. "My grandfather made this," I said, as I reached behind it and pulled out a .22 rifle. "I bought this at K-Mart," I said, as I showed them the rifle. "It stays loaded, too. That's security."

For the ultimate in home security and peace of mind, read the rest at Gut Rumbles.