Study: Overweight People Eat More

(Atlanta, Georgia) Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released the results of research conducted to determine why Americans are overweight. Surprise! Surprise! The findings indicate that Americans are eating more than previously.

It's currently unclear as to how many millions of taxpayer dollars went into this discovery. Also unclear is the amount of taxpayer funds currently allocated to research in finding the cause of starvation. Current speculation is that starvation, as with excess weight, may be strongly correlated to eating.