Cheese-Drenched Nude Man Arrested

(Maryville, Tennessee) Early yesterday, police arrested Michael P. Monn, who was covered with nacho cheese, and charged him with burglary, theft, vandalism, public intoxication, and indecent exposure. Apparently, the 23-year-old genius got hammered on vodka, took his clothes off, scaled a fence, and broke into a snack bar to steal snacks. Maryville Police Officer Scott Spicer arrested Monn at 5am.