There's a Mouse in My Burrito

(Traverse City, Michigan) Hopefully, there are young people with a modicum of intelligence in Traverse City to balance out the abject stupidity of this yokel. Instead of the well-publicized finger-in-chili trick, he tried the mouse-in-burrito trick.

From Record-Eagle.com:

Ryan Daniel Goff, 20, laughed and smiled Thursday morning as 86th District Court Judge Thomas Phillips read elements of an attempted extortion charge against him.

Goff is charged with a five-year felony after he allegedly put a dead mouse in a Taco Bell burrito in January and then attempted to get the restaurant chain to ante up for his silence.

Grand Traverse County sheriff's investigators said Goff was at the Chum's Corner Taco Bell on Jan. 24 when he allegedly complained to an employee that his burrito tasted "funny."

Goff later called Taco Bell and allegedly told a regional manager "It won't be a good day if the media finds out about this," according to court records.

"There was an implied threat there to the regional manager," said county Prosecutor Alan Schneider about his decision to seek the five-year felony.

Goff stopped smiling when he heard that his bail was $100,000 and he was facing a possible five years in prison. Goff's attempt to get rich fell apart when his girlfriend gave him up. She told police the whole scam.