Butts Busted for Boosting Buttwipe

(Marshalltown, Iowa) A local woman, Suzanne Marie Butts, was stopped by police outside the Marshalltown Courthouse and found to be carrying three rolls of stolen toilet paper. A bathroom vigilante tipped the police to the theft. When queried by a local TV reporter, Butts refused to discuss the situation without her lawyer.

According to Marshalltown Police Chief Lon Walker, the theft would normally be a misdemeanor but, for some undisclosed reason,

"She's facing three years incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Walker said.

Butts was also arrested for stealing $30 from a family member and, according to the media report, she faces four charges of theft -- apparently one count for each stolen roll of toilet paper and one for the theft from a family member. By any measure, Butts doesn't seem to have the right stuff for a career in crime.

As an aside, wouldn't it be nice to have Sheryl "Single Square" Crow weigh in on this story.

Tip: slwlion