Home Castration

(Aylesbury, England) A 42-year-old father-of-two, Howard Shelley, was told that he would have to wait at least two years for a sex change operation under the British National Health Service. As a result, he decided to do the work at home -- by himself.

He found a website which gave a step-by-step guide to the eye-watering home surgery, then waited till wife Janet went out before setting to work with a kitchen knife in the loo.

With the job done, he wrapped his severed appendages in a cloth and dropped them in the bin.

Then he drove five miles to his local GP, explained what he'd done, and was packed off for treatment at the Stoke Mandeville Hospital, near Aylesbury.

Amazingly, three days later he was back at his desk.

Howard, who wants to be known as Holli, said: "It was very painful, but the moment I cut them off I felt all woman."

Very painful, eh?

"The worst bit was steeling myself for the first cut. The whole thing took six minutes. It was agony, but I knew I couldn't stop."

Ewww! He couldn't stop! Jeez! I'm in pain just reading his story.