Lesbian Domestic Assault with Turkey Baster and Brother's Sperm

(Pittsfield, Massachusetts) I nominate this report as the screwiest story of the weekend and I guarantee that nothing like this story would have been in the news twenty years ago.

In a nutshell, a lesbian, 26-year-old Stephanie K. Lighten, assaults her (legally married in Massachusetts) wife, 33-year-old Jennifer A. Lighten, with a turkey baster containing Stephanie Lighten's brother's semen.

Stephanie Lighten wanted to impregnate Jennifer Lighten against her will with the semen of Nicolas Lighten.

Jennifer A. Lighten, 33, told police that Stephanie Lighten, her wife, was "all liquored up" when she returned to their Lincoln Street apartment, where the defendant then allegedly tried to use a syringe to inseminate her, according to a police report. [...]

According to a report by Pittsfield Police Officer Kipp D. Steinman: "Jennifer said that Stephanie had a 'turkey baster and her brother's semen in a sealed container.' Jennifer said she told Stephanie that she didn't want to get pregnant." The device was actually a large syringe with a catheter tip, police said, and it was still in its original package when officers confiscated the item.

That's allegedly when Stephanie threw Jennifer on the couch, grabbed at her clothes and threatened to impregnate her, police said.

Jennifer broke free, ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Stephanie "then broke the bathroom door down," police said, hurting her wrist in the process.

When Stephanie went to retrieve an ice pack from the freezer, Jennifer bolted from the apartment and attempted to get away in the couple's sport utility vehicle, police said.

As Jennifer pulled away from the scene, Stephanie "jumped on the side of their vehicle, swung the door open and made (Jennifer) stop," Steinman said.

Ultimately, police arrested Stephanie Lighten and confiscated a container of semen and some aluminum foil used to contain the semen.

Jennifer Lighten declined to pursue rape charges, believing instead that Stephanie wasn't really going to sexually assault her with a syringe. According to Detective Thomas Harrington, attempted rape charges could be filed if Jennifer changes her mind.

Stephanie Lighten faces charges of domestic assault and battery. She was booked and released on personal recognizance. A court appearance is scheduled for April 29. Judge Rita S. Koenigs told her to cool it.

Tip: slwlion

Companion post at The Jawa Report.