Obama Reaches Out to Taliban?

Okay, let me see if I perceive this correctly. The Taliban is a compilation of militant guerilla groups which inhabit the mountainous tribal regions of Afghanistan and Pakistan.

The Taliban is known to enforce the strictest interpretation of Sharia law ever seen in the Muslim world. The Taliban prohibits schooling of females. The Taliban kills with the slightest provocation and, although it's under the radar, the Taliban membership is guilty of widespread pederasty.

And now I hear that President Obama wants to sit down and talk to these murdering barbarians.

Well, let's speculate about the issues on the table. The Taliban representative (it's unknown who that would be since the Taliban is not a sovereign entity) says:

"We want all foreign troops out of Afghanistan. It is Allah's land.

We want all foreign troops and influences out of Pakistan. It is Allah's land.

We want all Israelis marched into the Mediterranean Sea and drowned. Palestine is Allah's land.

We want insults to Islam to be declared a capital crime by the United Nations and ratified by all members of the Security Council. All free speech laws are to be revised to conform to the requirements of the Qu'ran.

President Obama, thank you for setting up this meeting so that we could voice our demands. Frankly, we thought you knew. Now, we are prepared to hear your demands."

Sitting cross-legged on a blanket in a tribal village square, President Obama looks around and mentions how the bright sunlight at the 8,ooo-foot level forces his eyes to water.

"I want to help the Taliban make the changes necessary to take full advantage of the richness of modern life. I offer you hope for the future."

[interrupted by Taliban rep] One more thing, Mr. President. We want $100 billion each year as foreign aid."

[Obama] "Okay, we can do that. Anything else?"

President Obama then leaves and later, at a press briefing, it's announced that negotiations with the Taliban are going smoothly.

Companion post at The Jawa Report.